


If I Get Ya

by ArwenKenobi



Series: Watson's Woes July Writing Prompts 2013 [23]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-24
Updated: 2013-07-24
Packaged: 2017-12-21 05:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/896099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArwenKenobi/pseuds/ArwenKenobi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When this is all over with, John decides.  He's going to find that way to delete the song from his brain.  Maybe Sherlock will teach him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Get Ya

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to [Battles Won, Battles Lost](http://archiveofourown.org/works/894659)

"Remind me why we come here again?" John asks Lestrade, furious as he slaps his hands over his ears. It fails to drown out the pounding bass and the husky voice of one of the male singers.

"Because there's decent beer...and usually an older crowd." Lestrade doesn't look too impressed as he surveys the crowd of twenty something's swaying on the makeshift dance floor. "If you go up there and start dancing at a woman gives you your number I will give you fifty quid."

"Piss off." John really has no intention of finding a girlfriend anywhere let alone here but, alas, this is the role he has to play. The grieving friend being taken out and being shown by a good time by his now defacto best friend. John supposes he'd be looking for female companionship if he had any interest in it anymore. Hasn't had any interest in it since meeting Sherlock and all relationships have really just been him trying to convince himself that he hadn't fallen hopelessly for Sherlock. Not that anyone knows that, including the man himself. Not like anyone has bothered him with it since Sherlock 'died' anyway. They were far too busy rubbing his face in the fact that he was taken in. 

Sherlock's instruction from the roof top was to spread the lie. They hadn't discussed whether he was actually supposed to or not when he saw him for the last time before he went on the hunt but John isn't going to. Wouldn't have done if the death were real anyway. The past year he has spent working on a book when he hasn't been pretending to be depressed. He'd actually managed to fool his therapist and his own doctor. He's keeping the prescriptions and the chart that he's stolen framed for Sherlock's reading pleasure when he gets back. There a whole lot of things he's keeping in a box for Sherlock until he gets back. 

_Baby, baby, I want to get to know you_

_Oh, If I get you_

_Oh, Oh, if I get you_

"Somebody shut that damn thing off!" Lestrade growls at some clutch of waitresses who have decided to dance a little. Of course, no one hears him. John drains his beer and informs him he's going home. He does allow Lestrade to talk him into trying another pub because a grieving John would let him be talked into anything for a distraction. 

Later, he tells Sherlock that he should thank Lestrade for that outing. 

==================================================================================== 

When John isn't preparing for the book release he's still fighting the good fight. He knows what he's supposed to do and he knows what Sherlock would but that can all go rot. He wouldn't sit still if Sherlock had actually died and he doesn't care if Sherlock disproves. If he can get some of the work done in London that'll mean everything ends faster. John's doing well at playing his part but he is not going to play this for one second longer than he has to. 

Moriarty and Sherlock have very similar ways of doing things so it's only a matter of time, nearly a whole year's worth of time and in anonymous tips to NSY about smaller players in the game, before he identifies Moriarty's trusted lieutenant. Or Colonel in this case. 

Colonel Sebastian Moran, who has enjoyed an unprecedented level of anonymity in the whole affair. He also, according to the 'research' John has done was the one with gun pointed at his head at St. Bart's that day. Sherlock may not have actually got rid of Moriarty himself but he'll cheerfully get rid of Moran for both himself and Sherlock. He's posed his questions and digs up what he needs to do. He follows the man, even meets the man at the Veteran's Day service that they both end up invited to. It's perhaps a bit too risky but John Watson lives for danger and it's when he's in danger that he's at his sharpest. Moran never sees him and never suspects. 

He's getting close and he knows it. Close to giving in all he knows to Lestrade and the others. None of the smaller fish have talked about Moran, they don't have the whole picture after all. Just John does and when he's ready it will all blow open. As he works on that mission John finds himself singing that stupid song from the pub as he works. In the privacy of his own home as well as under his breath when he does his undercover work. Work that Mycroft Holmes has to know full well about but refuses to do anything about. One thing Mycroft has done right. 

"Baby, baby, you're playing hard to get but, oh if I get you, baby you're mine," is one snatch of the lyrics that he keeps mumbling to himself. He's getting close and he knows it. 

"You're mine," he promises the image on his computer screen as he closes his laptop. 

=====================================================================================

He's furious when the man slips out of his and Lestrade's fingers three nights later. John hasn't told them who they're hunting, of course, just that he knows it's a big one and he is furious. "What are we doing, John?" he finally snaps. "This is the fourth time in the past two months you've claimed to have something. What are we looking for so I can help you!"

John shrugs and says he's not sure even though he is dying to tell him that they're so close to getting Sherlock home that he can taste it. 

John is whispering the song to himself on the way home when Lestrade asks him if he's singing in Portuguese for a reason. "Is that what that is?" John had always assumed it was Spanish. John tries his hand at singing it aloud and Lestrade groans aloud. He assumes that it's because of his terrible imitation Portuguese but Lestrade whinges that the song is stuck in his head now as well. "How long ago did we hear that, John? How is it still in your head?"

"Never underestimate Pitbull," John grumbles in kind, glad to turn his anger on something else. If he had to have a song stuck in his head to spur him toward getting Moran behind bars and getting Sherlock Holmes this is not one that he would have chosen. 

===================================================================================== 

It's when John's book (The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes) is released that things start to come to a head. Really it's the day before when "Ai Se Eu Te Pego (If I Get Ya)" starts following him around the city. From shop, to tube stop, to work, to home, and back again. He knows that Moran knows and knows that he is going to be in for a world of trouble once Lestrade releases what he's gathered. He's asked Lestrade to release the dossier he's collected, issue the warrants and all that, the day after the book comes out. Lestrade, who has been shocked to see what John has actually been doing in his spare time, is nervous. "We need to put you in a safe house," he tells him. "Or at least in protective custody. This man is dangerous and you have tied him several crimes, three of them being unsolved murders." He gives him The Eye for keeping that secret until now. "This man will end you for this."

John knows. He's counting on it. Part of the plan is putting himself in danger. It's terrible of him to manipulate Sherlock this way but turnabout is fair play. He's asked Molly to keep Sherlock appraised in case he contacts her, he hasn't at all over the past eighteen months, and tells her to call Mycroft if she absolutely has to. He suspects that Mycroft already knows and has some sort of security measure in play by now. Not that he's going to actually tell John about it because that would be breaking character. 

_Nossa, nossa_

_Assim você me mata_

_Ai se eu te pego_

_Ai, ai, se eu te pego_

Portuguese now. He hears in the flat as he gets home to pack some things. Slower and no Pitbull. Just the simple, playful voice of the singer who wants to meet this person who has captured his interest. 

"Shit!" he curses as the bullets start to fly through the window. The glass shatters as he dives for shelter in the kitchen. A hail of bullets continue to assault the sitting room as John thanks heaven that Mrs. Hudson is out for the day. He slips out the back way, through 221C, and hops over the back wall and starts running. All he has on him is his phone, his gun, some bullets, his wallet, and the key to one of Sherlock's hideaways in the East End. 

He ends up singing, huffing really, under his breath as he runs. "Baby, baby, I want to get to know you. Oh if I get you, oh, oh, if I get you."

===================================================================================== 

His mobile is vibrating like mad all day. Lestrade, Molly, Mrs. Hudson, Mycroft, Stamford, even Harry, Literally everyone in his contact list is after him. He manages to locate a small radio in the flat and listens to what coverage there is on the BBC. It seems the warrant has been issued, early now, and a manhunt for Moran is on. John's own name is put out there as currently missing and for anyone with information about him to contact Scotland Yard. His life is in danger. 

An unknown number, and international unknown number, keeps ringing him as well. Part of him hopes it's Sherlock while the rest of him knows it's Moran. He doesn't answer. He also doesn't check the voicemails. It's either Sherlock telling him off, and John's afraid that he'll do whatever Sherlock tells him in the name of getting everything sorted, or Moran saying whatever and John doesn't care what he says. Or, he thinks to himself, it's probably that damn song again. Playing in a loop until the recorder runs out of room. 

When this is all over with, John decides. He's going to find that way to delete the song from his brain. Maybe Sherlock will teach him. 

The text that gets John out of hiding nearly a day later is a picture of Moran posing with a bound, gagged, and beaten Greg Lestrade. John swears loudly when he sees it and nearly throws his mobile out the window when the text message he receives is _Johnny, Johnny, you're playing hard to get. Oh, when I get here you're mine._ He doesn't have a choice now and while he had acknowledged this as a possibility he hadn't thought of Greg. He'd managed to talk the girls out of town and he gathered no one would even try Stamford or his sister. Why had he forgotten about Greg? He didn't know anything but he had been the one who had issued the warrant. He'd send a message as good as any. 

John thinks long and hard about what he's going to walk into. Thinks long and hard about how Moran is known for killing his victims. The real victim here is going to be John, of course. Lestrade may be killed afterwards but John is the primary target. 

John hopes that his marksmanship is just that much above Moran's. 

===================================================================================== 

Moran's life ends in three shots. John misses the first two times on purpose because he's trying to lure him away from Lestrade. The third shot gets Moran right between the eyes at the same time Moran's bullet gets him in the stomach. It is an explosion of pain that brings him immediately to his knees. Lestrade is howling from behind the gag and manages to topple himself over on his side in an effort to free himself from the chair. John can hear his own name vaguely behind the bonds but little else. He curls into a ball with his hands over the wound, as if he's trying to force his blood back into him. As he feels his consciousness fading he looks at the dead body of Colonel Sebastian Moran and starts singing that stupid song as loud as he can without hurting himself. Lestrade, muffled, joins in when he catches on as to what John is trying to do. If he can annoy himself into awareness, annoy himself into keeping awake, he'll do it even if he has to shoot himself again later to get it out of his head again. 

He manages to get to the third part of badly sung Portuguese when he gets Moran's phone open and dials 999. Lestrade has managed to get his gag off and is yelling from across the room to alert his unit and his people as well and get them down here pronto for Moran. When's John's voice gives out and things really start to get hazy Lestrade shouts the bilingual rap part of the song until John's eyes open again. "You learned that?" he slurs.

"I'm cursed," is Lestrade's response to that. "I hear something twice and it's in my head forever. Now stay the fuck awake, John. _Ya tu saves Y de ay vamos..._ "

John shuts his eyes but manages to not lose consciousness. Not until the paramedics come and he decides that he's earned a bit of a nap.

=====================================================================================

John wakes up to flawless Portuguese, or at least he assumes that it has to be flawless, being whispered near frantically in his ear. His arm comes up without thinking to whack the person who has decided to wake him up with that damn song instead of anything else when he feels lips lock on his. He can't even be sure if he's actually struck the person either. The person who, he is shocked to discover when he opens his eyes, happens to be Sherlock. "What the-!" he tries to push himself up and is shoved right back down by both the pain in his stomach and Sherlock's arm. 

Sherlock is harried, tired, and terrified. What catches John's attention to most is that it's not because of what he's just done. The kissing thing is nothing. It's the fact that John has gone and gotten himself shot when Sherlock had put all this work into making sure nothing happened to him. "You're welcome," he tells him instead. 

This must be how he must look to Sherlock when he's being smug. Sherlock sputters, starts to say something, fails to say something, and then resorts to hitting the control's to John's bed so he's sitting up. "You are ridiculous," he tells him. 

"I know," John allows. "I learned from the best." 

Sherlock smiles and reaches for his hand. "That's the end," he confirms. 

"Thank God," John sighs. He squeezes Sherlock's hand as best as he's able. It seems that the wound, and the drugs, are getting the better of him now. "I got him and it's done."

"No more if's then?"

John groans as the beat starts pounding in his head. "How the hell did you learn about that."

"Lestrade, who is awaiting our visit down the hall once you're able. I thanked him for keeping you alert."

"You are going to teach me how to delete that song. It's over now so it can go."

Sherlock pouts. "I woke you up with that song."

"I would have preferred the kiss." John grumbles a little too loudly than he'd meant to. Sherlock starts a little bit and then kisses him again when John starts to object. "You would have preferred the kiss?"

"Obviously," Sherlock gently huffs. "If you'd given me any reason to suspect that you'd be agreeable to it."

John yawns. "Told you I was a better actor." 

"And I assured you that I won't make the same mistake again," Sherlock promises. "Now go to sleep. We can talk more later."

John sleeps. That stupid song follows him into it, this time the original version but with Sherlock singing it, but he finds that it doesn't bother him in the slightest. 

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt 23: Earworm. 
> 
> The song(s) that haunt John's head.
> 
>  
> 
> ["Ai Se Eu Te Pego (If I Get Ya) [Worldwide Remix] - Michel Teló](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4aZW76sVew)
> 
>  
> 
> [Ai Se Eu Te Pego - Michel Teló](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcm55lU9knw)


End file.
